Ugh...

As I sit here on the computer in the ramp office at work, I can't help but think... "How did I get to this point...?" I have been through many trials for someone my age, or so I think. It's ridiculous really. Sometimes I just so beaten down, and I just want to give up... Obviously, that won't be happening because I'm kind of a bad ass. Just sayin'. Well, I'm sure by now, all of you who never read this have realized that my aunt Becky has passed away. I'm not going to lie, it's pretty shitty. Last night I was looking at my phone and I really just wanted to call her up and see how things were going. I of course did nothing, she's not here any more. I know she is totally not concerned with what is going on down here anymore, but I really miss her. I'm sure her daughter misses her. I hate this. Well, anyway... She's probably hugging everyone's neck up there and expressing how glad she is to be there. I just wish I could see her after work today. I wish I could see my brother today. I wish I could see and meet my grandpa today. I know once I die I won't be concerned with all of these things, but as I live my life to it's fullest potential for however long I'm given, I will have days like this. I'm hoping I am not this depressed tomorrow. Waking up 15 minutes before my shift starts is not how I would like to continue out this week. I am hoping for a better tomorrow.